Building Your Customized Adoption Plan
May 3, 2022Now that you have decided to make an adoption plan, you will need to think through what type of openness you will want to have. You may have many questions centered around what all that may look like. What are the categories of openness in adoption? ABBA Adoption defines them as “ Open” with variations of openness, and “ Closed”. You may also see some refer to them as open, semi-open, and closed. We will go into further details about each one in the adoption process, how it may affect each person involved in the process, and what you may want to consider as you navigate through this process as this is such an important piece of your adoption journey from having the right match for to how things will go after placement.
One thing to keep in mind, this is your adoption plan! Weighing out the pros and cons of each type of openness, it is important that you speak with our professional team of Adoption Specialists and let us help you build the right adoption plan for you! ABBA Adoption is here to guide you and we want you to have confidence in what openness plan you decide on.
Ok, so let’s take a look at each openness category together.
OPEN ADOPTION
The birth parents and the adoptive parents know some things about each other and there is a level of communication around the child. Openness can vary so much and is tailored to what you, the birth mother, feels most confident in. You will even hear semi-open in adoption due to the various levels of openness.
Things that you will consider in choosing the level of openness in your adoption will be meeting the adoptive parents, having conference calls, having them go to doctor appointments with you, and even being at the hospital. You may even exchange emails, and addresses so you can write to one another over the years. You will think through the process of receiving pictures and updates and even if you’d like visits with the child and how often. In other words, communication is frequent and has benefits for both the birth mom and the child.
I have some birth moms and adoptive families that will get together at various times, like birthdays or holidays; everyone works together to come up with a plan that works for each person involved, always keeping in mind what is best for the child. Open adoptions give you the ability to truly customize your relationship where you feel most comfortable. It also allows for the birth mom and the adoptive parents to stay up to date on crucial information, such as any health changes the biological family may need to pass along.
I have birth moms that have various degrees ranging in their adoption openness plans. Your Adoption specialist at ABBA Adoption will help you build the best openness plan that you feel confident in. Again, this is your adoption plan, ABBA Adoption is here to give you the support, tools and resources to help you navigate your adoption journey.
CLOSED ADOPTION
In a closed adoption, the birth mother chooses to not have contact with the adoptive family and child. At ABBA Adoption, adoptive parents are given background information about you and the birth father that they would need to help them take care of the child, such as medical information and background information as well as any other information the birth mom feels comfortable sharing.
Having a closed adoption means that you do not get pictures, updates, and/or have contact with the adoptive family and child. In most cases, this would hinder any ability to give any medical updates you may need to pass on to the adoptive family, however, with ABBA Adoption, you always have the potential to do so.
Although closed adoptions are rare these days, there are still birth moms, in some cases, who feel that it is the right decision for them. Oftentimes it’s for protection of the child (and even self); like in cases of abuse and violence. There are also times where the birth mother feels it best to have a closed adoption because she is keeping her adoption plan decision from others in her life.
I’ve worked with birth moms who in choosing a closed adoption, I left the door open for pictures and updates as I know the importance of having the ability to receive those if you desire. In a closed adoption, ABBA Adoption’s program requires the adoptive parents to send in pictures and updates every quarter for the first year that we keep for you in the event you want them in the future. We educate the adoptive parents on being open to sending them in the future should you request them. This is so if and when you have a change of heart in the future, we have them ready for you. Never any pressure! Just another way we want to minister to you and help you have confidence in your adoption plan.
If you are wondering how to decide which level of openness is best, make sure to contact the Adoption Specialist at ABBA Adoption so we can assist you in thinking through all the details involved in customizing your adoption plan. Each birth mom’s situation is unique and should be approached in that manner. There is no cookie cutter way to approach this very critical part of your adoption journey. ABBA Adoption gives you the necessary tools and resources so that together we can customize your individual adoption plan.
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