Birth ParentsFor I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11
The decision to place a child for adoption is very difficult. It is an act of great courage and much love. It is a sacrificial choice. We at Abba Adoption Agency understand the emotions that come with making such a hard decision. We want you to know that we are here to walk this journey with you should you feel adoption is the best plan for you and your baby. You will never feel like you have to walk this journey alone. Abba Adoption Agency will help you build a life plan of adoption for you and your baby that you can have confidence in. Because your situation is unique, your adoption plan should meet your individual needs and desires. Most importantly, Abba Adoption Agency wants you to know that we are here to pray with you as you approach these hard decisions.
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, it is important for you to explore all your options. Abba Adoption Agency will never pressure you and we will help point you to resources and guide you along the way as you work through your life plan for your baby, rather it is adoption or parenting. If you choose to make an adoption life plan for your baby, know that you are making a loving decision for both you and your baby while at the same time you are giving the greatest gift to a family who is choosing to grow through adoption.
Unplanned Pregnancy Help
We offer unplanned pregnancy help for Arkansas.
Your unplanned pregnancy could be exciting, frightening, or a little bit of both. You may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility that you now feel in making a decision that will shape the rest of your life and the life of your child. This may be causing you stress, and you may feel pressured to make a decision quickly about what to do for your child. Only you know what is best for you, but it is important that you understand that you have time, and there are options and resources available in the state of Arkansas that you might not be aware of. Abba Adoption Agency wants to help you along the way.
You may be wishing that this hadn’t happened at all, and wanting simply not to be pregnant at all right now. An unplanned pregnancy is a big change to have happen, and it’s easy to worry about what others will think of you. But they don’t have to live with the decision that you make regarding your baby…you do. And no matter what, you cannot go back, and become “un-pregnant.” You will remember this experience for the rest of your life, and you will always have been pregnant. The difference in how you feel when you look back years from now on this point in your life will depend on what you decided about caring for your child.
Facing an unplanned pregnancy?
Abba Adoption Agency understands that an unplanned pregnancy makes life a little difficult. You are worried about your future, and your baby’s future. We hope you make the choice that is in the best interest of you and your baby. I know you might feel like you failed God, family, boyfriend, yourself or maybe someone or something else. You can turn it around! You can make the right choice for you and your baby. In order to do that, it is important to be informed of your different options.
By the eighth week the baby is well developed, complete with fingers and toes, even fingerprints and a fully recognizable body. The baby’s heart has been beating for over a month. It has an entire nervous system and can feel pain. The baby is a separate person with a unique genetic code different even from yours, probably a different blood type. The baby is in your body, but not part of your body. Make sure you don’t deny yourself this vital information. You’re not a child who needs to be shielded from the facts. If you are pregnant, you are a mother. All mothers need help during this vital time in their lives. Abba Adoption Agency is dedicated to helping you make a decision in your unplanned pregnancy you can live with.
Choosing the life plan for yourself and your baby is a huge decision and right now the focus is on you and what you are going to do. This is true; it is your decision. In making your decision, Abba Adoption Agency hopes that we can give you a few important things to take into consideration when being faced with an unplanned pregnancy.
What choice would be the most honorable? What relationship and/or situation would be best for you and your baby? Can you imagine being together with the person who got you pregnant and/or sharing the responsibility of a child for at least 18 years? Are either of you stable enough to support a baby? What do you think would be the best choice for your baby? Abba Adoption Agency can help you weigh out all your decisions.
Unplanned pregnancy options:
- Single parenting
- Dual/ shared parenting
Single parenting is the most expensive option. The total cost to parent a child ranges from $1,000.00-$2,000.00 monthly. This estimate may include, but is not limited to things the child will need in the first year such as: diapers, baby bottles, formula, clothing, car seat, day care, first aid supplies, blankets, crib or bassinet, and hygiene products. As a parent you must look further than just that first year of baby items as they will quickly grow into other stages, but you must also budget for shelter, food, transportation, and utilities to raise a child. When all of these expenses are added up, it will cost approximately $12,000-$24,000 per year to raise a child. This estimate does not include education and other items that a baby or children will require.
Here are some questions to consider:
- Are you ready to take care of this baby’s health, safety, and well-being?
- Are you ready to be “tied down” and not be able to do what you want to do?
- Is this baby included in the dreams that you have for yourself?
- Are you ready to juggle work and staying awake during the night for feeding?
- Do you want your baby to live in the same surroundings in which you live?
- Are you ready to parent this baby alone?
- What type of support system do you have in place?
It is great if you both want to take on this responsibility. There are some things to consider that you may not have thought about. Let’s take a look at your relationship with your boyfriend down the road. What will it be like? Do you think the two of you will be able to communicate with one another in a positive manner for the benefit of the baby? Do you think you can handle your boyfriend marrying someone else and having that other person as a part of your baby’s life? Now, think about the baby, do you want your baby to live in two different homes? Have you thought clearly through what that would look like? How will that decision affect your baby?
When you are going to dual parent, make sure you come to the agreement on things, such as:
- Whose turn is it to take care of our baby today?
- What are you going to do when you have plans for the weekend and it is your turn to take care of the baby?
- Who’s going to pay for what?
- Who will obtain health insurance for the baby?
- Who will get to claim the baby on their tax return?
- What will happen when one of you gets married?
These are just some of the things that will come up. You both will have to be very mature and have a very good relationship to be able to do this successfully. Remember, the focus is the baby, not your feelings.
If you and the birth father want to parent this baby, that’s great! A baby needs two loving parents. But, if you are getting married because of this pregnancy, you may be facing a long, tough, and bumpy road. There are people who have done this and been successful. It does take a lot of self- sacrifice on behalf of one another and the baby. No one should approach the issue of marriage lightly. Marriage is a lifelong covenant established by God. Abba Adoption Agency strongly recommends pre-marital counseling that is based upon biblical principles. If marriage is your focus, Abba Adoption Agency will be happy to help you obtain pre-marital counseling.
Here are some things you might want to consider before getting married:
- Are you ready to share everything about yourself with this person?
- Are you ready to share your space?
- Will you be able to financially support yourself, him or her, and a baby?
- Are you ready to cook, clean the house, and do the laundry for everyone?
- Are you really ready to live with this person?
- Can you imagine yourself being with this person for 10, 20, 30 years?
- Is this how you wanted things to be when you got married?
- Is this the person you believe God has ordained to be your spouse? Again, marriage is a lifelong commitment and should be approached as so. You should never approach marriage as a “trial basis”.
Now close your eyes and add a baby to the picture? Do you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life? If the answer is yes, then good, you should be thankful God has given you peace. If the answer is no, don’t marry this person. It is already going to be hard enough to be married without adding a baby to the situation, especially if you do not feel this is who God has ordained to be your lifelong spouse.
You may feel like you cannot possibly be a parent right now, no matter how much you might want to. This is understandable; parenting is a huge responsibility that continues for the rest of your life. It is the responsibility of physically caring for, teaching, and disciplining someone else, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for at least the next 18 years of both of your lives. Instead of just taking care of yourself and your own needs, you now have someone else to think about and tend to all of the time. You are pregnant; but that does not mean that you are necessarily ready to, or need to, become a parent right now.
There are loving, married couples who are waiting for the opportunity to love and raise your baby. Many women do not like to think about adoption as an option because of the pain of giving their baby up. I urge you to read on and consider that this is a choice that meets not only your needs, but also your baby’s needs, and the needs of a loving couple who would be overjoyed to be raising the baby that you have conceived.
There is no cost to you if you choose adoption! In fact, there is help with pregnancy related expenses within the state of Arkansas and Abba Adoption Agency assists in coordinating that help. The state of Arkansas allows the adoptive parents pay your expenses. Examples of pregnancy related expenses include: rent, utilities, maternity clothes, prenatal vitamins, food, and any other medical expenses not covered by your insurance or Medicaid. At Abba Adoption Agency we also provide many more services to help you during this time. Your adoption specialist will assist you in preparing a budget, transportation, counseling, making your adoption life plan for your baby, finding job training, finding ways to complete your education, helping you talk to family and friends, and helping you make an adoption life plan for your baby and match with the right adoptive parents. Your pregnancy ends with giving life. You can feel good about that and positive about your choice.
Should I place my baby for adoption?
The decision to place your baby for adoption is a difficult one. It is an act of great courage and much love. Remember, adoption is permanent. The adoptive parents will raise your baby and have legal authority for his or her welfare. In an unplanned pregnancy, you need to think about these questions as you make your decision. Know that Abba Adoption Agency is here to help you.
Have I explored all possibilities?
Pregnancy can affect your feelings and emotions. Are you only thinking about adoption because you have money problems, or because your living situation is difficult? These problems might be temporary. Have you called social services to see what they can do, or asked friends and family if they can help? If you have done these things, and still feel adoption is the best decision for you and your baby, you will feel more content with your adoption life plan. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas is available to help you explore all your possibilities for your baby
Will the adoptive parents take good care of my baby?
At Abba Adoption Agency, prospective adoptive parents are carefully screened and give a great deal of information about themselves. Abba Adoption Agency will visit with prospective adoptive parents in their home several times by a social worker and they must provide personal references. They must complete a home study which is extremely invasive in their lives and submit to all background checks including State Police, Child Maltreatment and FBI. They are taught about the special nature of adoptive parenting before an adoption takes place. By the time an agency has approved adoptive parents for placement of the baby, they have gotten to know them very well, and feel confident they would make good parents.
Will my baby wonder why I made an adoption life plan for him/her when they are older?
Probably. But adoption today is a lot different from what it was when you were growing up. Most adopted adults realize that their birth parents placed them for adoption out of love, and because it was the best they knew to do. Hopefully, your baby will come to realize that a lot of his or her wonderful traits come from you. One thing that you can provide for your baby is an adoption baby book (we offer this resource to all birth parents). And if you have an open adoption, it is likely that you personally will be able to explain to your baby why you chose an adoption life plan for them.
Why am I making an adoption life plan for my baby?
If your answer is because it is what you think is best, then it is a good decision and you can go forward in your adoption life plan without feeling guilty. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas is here to help you each step of the way.
Adoption Meets Everyone's Needs
How does adoption meet my needs?
Placing your baby with an adoptive couple can meet your needs in many ways and be such a blessing to you as a birth mother. First of all in an unplanned pregnancy, it can provide the peace of mind that you will have in knowing that your baby is in a stable and loving environment, with two parents who are not only capable and ready, but completely overjoyed to be raising your baby.
Secondly when faced with an unplanned pregnancy, adoption can give you your life back. Most likely, you were not planning on being a mother right now. I’m guessing that you have other plans and aspirations that may or may not include having a family and children someday. Although you are pregnant, this does not mean that you have to start your family now. Making an adoption plan for your child can provide for you the freedom to continue with your education and future career goals, and you can still get married and have children when you decide that you are ready.
Adoption can also provide for you the knowledge that you have made the right and responsible decision. It is a hard decision to make, but it can be the best if you feel you are not ready to be a parent. It is much more gratifying and heartwarming to tell friends and family who ask of your situation that you have placed your child into an adoptive family than to tell them that you have had an abortion and ended your child’s life. You may be overwhelmed with the response when others tell you how glad they are that you did not choose to abort, which many young women today do. You may be surprised throughout your pregnancy at the number of people who, rather than being judgmental about your pregnancy, will be supportive of your responsible and loving decision.
Adoption meets your baby’s needs.
Adoption not only meets your needs when faced with an unplanned pregnancy, it is considering the best interests of your baby as well. Many young women fear that they will love their baby too much to give it up. This can sometimes be the more selfish viewpoint, since keeping your baby is not always the best decision for the baby’s well-being. Compare for a moment the care that your baby would receive in a loving, stable home with two parents who are fully expecting and hoping to raise a baby, versus the care they would receive living with a young, possibly single mother who is not financially or more importantly emotionally ready to be a parent nor has a stable lifestyle to bring a baby into. The difference to the baby would be outstanding. Rather than one young mother struggling to raise a baby she did not plan on, the baby would have a mother and father who are completely prepared and excited to raise it. You can choose to provide your baby with a stable and loving married couple who are completely prepared to raise and care for him/her.
You can be a blessing to an adopting couple.
One aspect of adoption that many people underestimate is the joy that a newborn can bring to a couple who cannot have children or who are choosing to grow their family through adoption. It may be hard to imagine not being able to have a baby, since you have just found yourself in an unplanned pregnancy. However, if you were married and wanted to have a baby only to realize that you couldn’t, it would be heartbreaking to have to wait and hope that someone would offer you their baby to raise. This is the very situation that thousands of married couples are in right now. For every couple that adopts a healthy newborn, there are 40 other couples waiting to adopt. You can provide for this couple something that they could never have without you, the chance to be parents! Knowing that you had this impact on another’s life can often times wash away any anxiety you may feel about not parenting your baby yourself.
Adoption Life Plans
Which adoption life plan?
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy and choosing adoption, it is important to choose the right adoption life plan. Abba Adoption Agency understands how this is a very personal decision and one that should be approached with great thought. You should never go about making your adoption life plan in a “cookie cutter” approach. There is no right or wrong way. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas has an adoption coordinator that will help you develop an adoption life plan that is designed around your specific needs and wants.
There are however a couple areas of openness to think through:
Confidential life adoption plans
The birth parents and the adoptive parents never know each other. Abba adoption agency will provide the adoptive parents background information about you and the birth father that they would need to help them take care of the baby, such as medical information.
Open life adoption plans
The birth parents and the adoptive parents know some things about each other. There are several different levels of openness:
- Least open: You will read about several possible adoptive families and pick the one that sounds best for your baby. You will not know each other’s names.
- More open: You and the possible adoptive family will speak on the telephone and exchange first names.
- Even more open: You can meet the possible adoptive family. Your adoption coordinator with Abba Adoption Agency will arrange the meeting at a neutral location. You receive letter and picture updates throughout the years and have a reunion with the child when he/she is ready.
- Most open: You and the adoptive parents share personal information. You stay in contact with the family and your baby over the years by calling, or writing each other, and sometimes even visiting with one another.
Do you want to decide who adopts your baby? Would you mind if a couple of a different race than you adopted your baby? Would you like to be able to share medical information with your baby’s family that may only become known in the future? Talk to your adoption coordinator at Abba Adoption Agency about the type of adoption life plan that is best for you and your baby. Your adoption life plan is about what you want! Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will ensure that you have a family that desires the same type of openness as you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I receive financial assistance?
Yes. In Arkansas, you may qualify to receive financial support. Your adoptive family may want to pay for your living expenses (i.e. rent, food, maternity clothes, etc.), according to state law. Abba Adoption Agency will provide you with an adoption coordinator to help you understand what you are able to receive.
What about the birth father?
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will help you work through the birth father issues based upon your particular situation!
Can I get counseling?
Yes. Abba Adoption Agency provides you with an on staff licensed clinical social worker (LCSW). You may also choose to see a counselor of your choice or we can refer a counselor to you. In addition, Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas provides “life time” counseling. What this means is that at different milestones in your life, you will find that the question of your decision to make an adoption life plan for your baby may arise. Times in your life this may happen may be when you decide to marry and begin the process of planning for a baby in the future. This might be a milestone in which you may feel you need counseling to help you process through your adoption decision again and should that happen, Abba Adoption Agency is here to help you with that. As long as your counseling is a direct reflection of your adoption life plan, we are here to assist you.
Does this cost me anything?
No. There is no cost to you for the excellence in adoption services that Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas provides. All cost associated with your adoption is covered by the adoptive family.
What happens before the baby is born?
Abba Adoption Agency helps you build an adoption life plan that best fits your needs and desires. If you want, you may choose the baby’s adoptive parents. You tell your adoption coordinator what is important to you in a family (i.e. race, religion, age, other children, etc.) and Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will present profiles of families that match what you are looking for and that can assist you best. Once a “match” is made, you can meet with the baby’s adoptive family before the baby is born if you want. You will continue seeing your doctor and taking care of yourself. Your adoption coordinator is here to support you every step of the way! You will never have to feel you are facing this alone!
What happens when I go into labor?
If you go into labor and have not selected a family yet, it is okay. You will need to call Abba Adoption Agency’s office. We will have a family ready as soon as possible. The baby will not be without adoptive parents.
If you are already working with Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas on an adoption life plan for your baby, your adoption coordinator and you would have already made arrangements with the hospital. Your adoption coordinator will be with you at the hospital throughout your labor and delivery. Again, you will never have to feel you are facing your unplanned pregnancy and adoption life plan alone!
What happens after the baby is born?
After the baby is born, you will most likely remain in the hospital for 12-24 hours before you are released. The adoptive family is usually at the hospital caring for the baby. If you would like to see your baby and spend time with him/her, that’s ok, too. Your adoption coordinator will assist you in building a birth plan tailored to your needs and request while at the hospital. You need to let everyone know what you are most comfortable with. The hospital social worker will meet with you to sign a birth certificate and hospital release form. Abba Adoption Agency will make sure you have transportation home and your baby will go home from the hospital with the adoptive family. An arrangement with your adoptive family regarding contact after the baby is born (i.e.: pictures, letters, etc.), will have already been made.
Will anyone find out about the adoption?
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas respects your decision to make your adoption life plan confidential. If you do not want your family or friends to know, that is your choice. You may tell whomever you want; it is not up to Abba Adoption Agency to do so. If you would like, Abba Adoption Agency will help you through telling those close to you.
Do I need to meet with someone from Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas?
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas provides you with an adoption coordinator who will meet with you and help you work through everything related to your unplanned pregnancy and your adoption life plan. We can travel to wherever you are in the state of Arkansas or meet in our office, whichever makes you the most comfortable.
Do I need an attorney?
You most likely will not need an attorney. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will be happy to arrange to have an attorney available, if necessary, at no cost to you.
What hours is Abba Adoption Agency available?
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas’s office hours are Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m. till 5:00 p.m., however staff is always available for emergencies. Abba Adoption Agency also knows that due to circumstances we may need to arrange our time outside of the normal business hours, such as, if you have a job or are in school during those times. We are flexible! You will have access to your adoption coordinator for emergencies when they arise.
Call us if you have any questions! (501) 776-2566 or (866)721-1551
Maybe you know in your heart that you can’t take care of your baby. There’s not enough time, money, or help. Maybe you already have children and one more child would be too much stress on you!
There is hope in your situation! There are many families all over the country that would love to have a baby of their own, but can’t due to infertility. There are other families who feel a very strong calling to grow their family through adoption. They are waiting for a person like you; a person that wants to give a baby life, and share that baby with them.
For every baby placed into an adoption plan, there are many well screened families waiting for a baby to cherish. Making a loving adoption life plan for your baby will meet your responsibility to your baby. Talking with an adoption coordinator through Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas does not commit you to adoption, but it will give you more information from which to base your decisions. There are also families that want to adopt babies with special needs or of any ethnic background.
You are doing the right thing by researching all of your options. Adoption is a choice that you need to think about carefully, but if you are not able to parent, no matter what the reason, adoption may be the right choice for you!
Please read over the frequently asked questions and their respective answers below:
How much, and what type of financial assistance can I receive?
Each adoption situation is truly unique and each state has specific laws regarding financial assistance. In most cases, the adoptive family will cover your medical bills. If you have insurance or Medicaid, the family will pay for anything that is not covered. In Arkansas, funds can be provided for your living expenses, while in other states this is illegal. To find out what all assistance can be available to you in the state of Arkansas, contact Abba Adoption Agency today.
How involved can I, the birthmother, be in the entire adoption process?
This is your adoption life plan! You call the shots. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will provide you with an adoption coordinator that will discuss with you your options and provide guidance when needed, but the final decisions are yours. You get to decide how much contact you want to have with the adoptive family as well as whether you would like to see the baby in the hospital or would rather be transferred off the floor. You will be able to decide if you would like to receive letters and pictures of your baby growing up and, if you are unsure, you can have Abba Adoption Agency hold those items until you are ready to receive them. There is no right or wrong way to design your adoption life plan!
How much information about me is shared with the adoptive family?
You can share however much or little information about yourself as you feel comfortable sharing. The adoptive family will know your name, your last name (only if you want them to), your medical history and the social aspects of your life. Your social history is provided to the family, for the baby’s benefit, once they have custody of the baby. So, please remember to be as thorough as you can be when providing your information so your baby can learn about you and your family if he/she has questions someday. If you want minimal information shared with your baby, let your adoption coordinator know and they can pass this along to the family.
How do I tell my family or friends about my adoption life plan?
There are many different ways for you to tell your family and friends about your unplanned pregnancy and adoption life plan. If you do not feel comfortable discussing it with them in person, writing a letter can be an option. When you write a letter you can describe your reasons for choosing adoption and share all other thoughts and information you have collected about adoption. Writing a letter allows you to share this information, which you might otherwise forget if you were sitting in front of them. Read that letter directly to your family members and friends. Finding the strength to tell them can be very difficult. However, adoption is a loving and unselfish choice and explaining to your family members and friends the reasons that you feel an adoption life plan is best for your child is a step that is worth taking. If you do not feel comfortable telling your family and feel it would be best to keep it confidential, that is okay, too. Talk with your Abba Adoption Agency adoption coordinator about helpful tips and information that she can provide to you about your situation so you can decide what is best for you. Abba Adoption Agency is here to help and your adoption coordinator will also assist you in talking with your family and friends if you would like her to.
Can my parents stop me from choosing an adoption life plan for my baby?
Adoption is your choice! This is your baby and you are the one who will know if you can raise this baby. An adoption life plan is something that may present a challenge for you emotionally if your parents do not want you to place the baby for adoption. It is something that you will have to be prepared to deal with throughout your adoption process. However, helping your parents to understand why you feel adoption is the best option and also trying to include them in the process can help them to understand your reasoning, even if they do not agree with your decision. Ultimately, you are the only one who can make this decision because it will directly affect you and your baby for the rest of your life. If you feel that it is best not to involve your family in your adoption life plan that is completely up to you. Your adoption coordinator will just want to make sure that you have made the right choice for you and that you have the support you need.
Are people right when they say that this is selfish of me? How should I respond when they say something like that?
Choosing an adoption life plan for your baby is the most loving and unselfish decision that you can make. Adoption reflects positively on everyone involved. Your baby will be able to have all the opportunities and experiences that you want for him or her. You are also able to move ahead and accomplish those goals that you may have for yourself. Due to your situation, it may be too difficult for you to raise a child at this point. Realizing that there are other families out there who are unable to have children and will love your baby as their own can give you a rewarding feeling. Just knowing that you are doing something so wonderful for someone else is an amazing act of love. It is important for you to surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and of adoption. Letting people know the reasons you are choosing an adoption life plan is a way to help others have more knowledge about adoption and how truly special it is to everyone involved. Adoption is your decision and therefore you are the only one who can make the decision. You are allowing a couple to become a family and enabling your baby to have everything that life has to offer. Have pride in knowing it takes a very strong person to recognize when adoption is the best option for a baby.
How will my other children react to adoption? How can I tell my children about my decision?
Teaching your children about adoption can be done in many ways. Reading books about adoption, telling them bedtime stories about situations that involve adoption, and even involving those in the adoption process or contact after the placement can be helpful in explaining your situation. Children can write letters or draw pictures to their new baby brother or sister. Often times, this makes them feel as if the baby is still a part of their life even when he/she is not living in the home. It also allows children to express their feelings and share more information that they may not have shared verbally. Adoption is a positive choice and children need to understand some of the reasons that an adoption life plan was the right choice for you. On an age appropriate level, explain that you want to “share” this baby with another family who cannot have babies of their own. Remind your children that this baby will always be a part of their lives, but he/she just live with another family now. Abba Adoption Agency’s adoption coordinator will guide you with more ideas based on your unique situation about sharing your adoption experience with your other children.
One person stated: “I was 17 years old when I had my son and although I did not have any other children, I had very young siblings. My sister was 6 at the time that I placed my son for adoption. She saw my son after he was born and even held him and fed him. She knew that he was not coming home with me, but also had many questions. She met the adoptive family and really liked them. She is now 13 and understands why I chose an adoption life plan. She still has pictures of my son with her all the time. She has asked me many questions and has included him in her life. She knows how happy my son is and really believes that adoption was the best choice for me in the situation that I was in. She supports me and I continue to teach her about adoption every day. She now tells me that I was so brave and strong and she looks up to me for the choices that I made. I am so happy that I included her in my experience and allowed her to be a part of the adoption process.” – Susan, birth mother, age 23
One thing that is important to remember is that children do not understand adult decisions. Although you want them to understand and be a part of your adoption life plan, it may take time for them to understand the bigger picture. It is extremely important for you to use positive adoption language. Abba Adoption Agency is here to help you navigate through these sensitive issues. Your adoption coordinator will help you come up with a plan and talk-track to help you with your unique situation.
Do I have to include the birth father in the adoption?
Abba Adoption Agency encourages birth father participation in the adoption process. If the birth father is not supportive or chooses not to participate in the adoption, that is okay. Abba Adoption Agency will help you make an adoption life plan based upon your specific situation.
What if I do not know who the father of the baby is or there is more than one possible father?
You are not alone. Many birth mothers do not know exactly who the father of their baby is or how to locate him and that is okay. We will explain the process of how an unknown birth father will be handled in the state of Arkansas. The most important thing is for you to be as honest and open about the potential birth father(s) as possible.
What if the birth father does not agree with my adoption decision?
We have worked with many birth mothers where the birth father does not agree with the adoption life plan. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will help you understand the process of how his rights will need to be addressed based upon your specific situation.
Is it uncommon that the birth father is my boyfriend, fiancée, or husband and we want to place our baby for adoption?
Absolutely not! Many birth parents are still dating or even married and they are choosing an adoption life plan together. Every person’s situation is unique and in many cases adoption is the best choice for the baby, even if the birth parents are still in a relationship. This can be due to age, financial instability, and other children that they are caring for, or various other reasons. Having your boyfriend or spouse involved in your adoption can provide extra support and guidance for you during this time. Abba Adoption Agency supports couples who choose an adoption life plan together.
How much information about the adoptive family will be shared with me?
You will receive a variety of profiles of adoptive families currently waiting to adopt through Abba Adoption Agency who fit your specific circumstances and wishes. These profiles contain photos of the family with descriptions of their lifestyle and interests, their relationship with each other, and what their home and extended family are like. Each profile will also include a “Dear birth mother letter.” This letter is from the family written to you letting you know why they are adopting and what they would provide for your baby’s life. Profiles give a personal voice to their lives, and you can start to learn their values and dreams for their family and future. The profile is meant to be an outline of their family, containing first name and any other information they choose to share at that time. This information will help you choose which adoptive family you may like to adopt your baby. You may have one or two that you like, or you may have more. Once you have informed your adoption coordinator of your favorites, she will help you determine which one is a perfect match for you. Abba Adoption Agency knows what a difficult decision it is to make an adoption life plan. It is vital you feel connected to the adoptive family you choose!
After I choose an adoptive family that I like, how do I get in touch with them to let them know I have selected them?
Your adoption coordinator will contact the family for you. You can also write them a letter explaining why you would like them to be the parents of your baby. A case plan will be completed, with the help of your adoption coordinator. Abba Adoption Agency creates a personalized adoption life plan for you that includes a plan to get to know the adoptive family.
Will I meet and/or talk to the adoptive family prior to the adoption?
Absolutely! Remember, this is your adoption life plan. Abba Adoption Agency wants to help you make an adoption life plan that is right for you! If you have specific wishes, discuss them with your adoption coordinator. However, if you would prefer not to meet your adoptive family, be sure to share this with your adoption coordinator. She will do her best to make arrangements for your adoption life plan according to your wishes! Your adoption coordinator will help you with all these details while you are making your adoption life plan.
What if I choose a family and afterward I am not comfortable with them and change my mind?
Adoption is your choice and Abba Adoption Agency wants you to be comfortable with the family that you have chosen. If for any reason you are not comfortable, then Abba Adoption Agency wants to know so we can find the perfect family for you and your baby. Talk with your adoption coordinator about any concerns as soon as you begin to feel them, as she may be able to share more information to help you navigate through your feelings.
How can I be sure that the families Abba Adoption Agency works with provide me with the best possible choices for my baby?
Abba Adoption Agency accepts only the best adoptive family candidates in the United States. While most adoption agencies have minimal requirements for their families, Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas goes beyond the minimum requirements and conducts extensive interviews in order to provide you with the quality family that you are looking for. We have families from various careers, backgrounds, and interests throughout the United States. With Abba Adoption Agency, you can select from a variety of adoptive families. In selecting your ideal family, we provide you with the best quality, screened Christian families. In addition, if you wanted the adoptive parents to be young and outgoing, we would find you the best quality, screened families who were young and outgoing. If you want the adoptive parents to be older and more established in their careers, Abba Adoption Agency will find a couple that is older and more established. Abba Adoption Agency will help you find the perfect family for you and your baby.
How much contact can I have with my baby and the adoptive family after the adoption?
Your adoption life plan is completely up to you. You can design an adoption life plan that is most comfortable for you. If you desire, you can receive letters and pictures from the adoptive family after the adoption takes place. You can also send pictures, letters and gifts to the adoptive family and baby. Abba Adoption Agency will work with you to determine how much, or how little, contact you desire and accommodate you accordingly. Again, this is your adoption life plan and we are here to help you design a life plan perfect for your situation.
When my child is older, how will the family tell my child about the adoption and me?
This is a question that can be answered only by the individual family. Each family has their own style of how to introduce the adoption to the child. Abba Adoption Agency strongly encourages adoptive families to make adoption language and celebrations part of their everyday family interactions and traditions. When you are matched with your adoptive family, you can ask this question to them. If you would like your adoption coordinator to discuss it with them for you, just let her know. She would be happy to bring up the topic and share your wishes or provide some ideas that have been used by other adoptive families in the past. You will also have an opportunity to share with your baby what you would like them to know about you. You can make an adoption life scrapbook for your baby in order to share photos of you and your family, hobbies, stories, and you may even want to write a letter to your baby. Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby, or give a similar symbol of their love. The adoptive family can then provide that to your child as he/she grows older. If the father of your baby would like, he can also put together a scrapbook and write a letter to the baby. You may have other family members who would like to share photos or a letter with the baby. It is an opportunity to give your baby the knowledge of your love, personality, history, and the reasons for your adoption life plan decision. The adoptive family will treasure whatever you provide and share it with the child at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child’s vocabulary early on and is a celebrated in their lives.
Will my child understand my decision?
Abba Adoption Agency provides many ways for you to express the reasons that you chose an adoption life plan for your baby. You can speak with the adoptive family and ask them how they plan to tell the baby about you and the adoption. You can also complete our “Given In Love” workbook along with an “Adoption Life Baby Book” and share your hobbies, interests, pictures of you and your family, and any other details about your life that you want the adoptive family to share with your baby. You are also encouraged to write the baby a letter for the adoptive family to give to the child someday that explains to them why you chose an adoption life plan for him /her. It is normal for birth mothers to have a lot of fears about the future of their baby. However, expressing your feelings through writings, drawings, or other talents will show your baby that you made this decision for them because you loved him/her and wanted what was best for them.
Will I always wonder how my baby is doing?
You will always hope that your baby is happy and you will never forget about the experience that you went through. However, getting to know the adoptive family during your pregnancy and visiting with them will provide you comfort by allowing you to see how much love they have for you and your baby. Choosing to receive pictures and letters can help you stay informed and updated on how the baby is doing. These things can reassure you that your baby is happy and that you made the decision that was best for you and your baby. You may feel some relief and comfort knowing that your baby has what you wanted for them, a loving home full of opportunities.
“I receive pictures and letters two times a year and my son is almost 6 years old now. I patiently wait every few months to receive the next set of pictures and a letter. I love to see how much Ryan has grown, read about how he is doing in school, and learn about all the new experiences that he has the opportunity to be a part of. I have learned that he is in the gifted program in school, plays on a basketball, soccer, baseball, and wrestling team. He is going to Florida in February for a family vacation, and he loves to play with his cousin Zack. I am very thankful to receive these pictures and letters because it constantly reassures me that he is happy and that I made the best decision for him. I love him more than anything in the world and to see him this happy makes me happy. It is very rewarding to know that I made such a strong decision for my son and he has brought so much joy to all the people who are in his life, including my own. He is always in my heart and his pictures are memories that are forever with me.” –Kim, birth mother, age 23
Will I be able to see my baby after the birth?
Your hospital experience should happen in the way that you decide that you want it to happen. If you choose to see your baby after he/she is born, you can do that. You can choose to hold your baby, feed your baby, and change your baby. You may also choose to have the adoptive family share in these experiences so they can begin bonding with the baby. It is sometimes helpful for you to have closure, therefore having some interaction with your baby at the hospital can allow you to say whatever you need to say to your baby and cherish that memory. You may choose not to see or have any contact with the baby because it does not feel right for you or some birth mothers believe they need to protect their heart through this time. That is also an option and the baby can stay with the adoptive parents in the hospital or in the nursery. Each individual birth mother has to decide what she is comfortable with and what works best for her. Your adoption coordinator will help you develop a birth plan that is tailored to your specific desires.
“I chose to see my son after he was born. I held him, fed him, changed him, rocked him, comforted him, talked to him, and even explained my reasons for choosing adoption for him. It was something that I felt I needed to do for myself to help with closure. I knew adoption was right for my situation, although I also knew it would be the most difficult decision that I ever have had to make. I said my goodbyes to my son and that is a moment that I will treasure until the day that we hopefully meet again.” –Sarah, birth mother, age 33
What can I expect to feel after I say goodbye?
There are so many emotions that accompany the birth of a baby that you make an adoption life plan for: grief, loss, guilt, loneliness, sadness, relief, joy, peace and happiness, sense of fatigue, confusion, and of course, doubt, are a few of the most common emotions. There are other emotions as well, though you may not experience all of these emotions. Adoption is such an overwhelming decision that it may take you a while to sort through all of your feelings. These emotions should be expected and are completely normal. They are part of the healing process. How one woman chooses to deal with her adoption decision may be very different with how another woman deals with hers. Some women speak of only happiness about their decision and consistently say that they have no regret. They know that they gave a family the greatest gift anyone could ever give them: a baby! Some women will go through grief and loss feelings after their adoption. This may cause confusion because they feel sad and lost. However, they know in their heart they made the right decision and feel happiness about that. It is important for you to understand all the possible emotions and verbalize your feelings to your adoption coordinator so that Abba Adoption Agency can help you with proper counseling and resources to help you through this time.
Once I sign the adoption papers, can I change my mind?
Adoption laws vary from state to state. In Arkansas, once you sign the relinquishment and consent to adoption you have ten days after the baby is born to change your mind. The ten day period includes weekends and holidays, but if the tenth day is a weekend or holiday, the last day to revoke is the next business day following the 10th day. Arkansas also gives you the right to waive 5 days of the revocation period. There is no right to revoke beyond the revocation period. Abba Adoption Agency will gladly go over the laws in Arkansas and procedures with you.
Will I regret my decision?
There are many emotions that correspond with adoption. Regret is one of those emotions that are unpredictable. However, knowing that you can choose an adoptive family that you are comfortable with and creating an adoption life plan that meets your needs will help you feel confident about your adoption. Adoption is a very difficult decision and it is normal to question your thoughts and feeling throughout the process. When you think about the reasons that you have considered and chosen an adoption life plan, you will most likely find that it was the best decision that you could have made for everyone involved. Knowing that you made a positive decision out of love and in the best interest of your baby will help you cope with any feelings or thought of regret, should you experience this.
“I was scared that I might regret my decision later on when my daughter became older and when I was more financially stable and would have been able to raise her. However, seeing how happy she is with her adoptive family makes me feel good about my decision and I would never want to take all the wonderful experiences that she has had away from her. I could not give her everything that she deserved and everything that I had always dreamed for my children to have. Now she has all of that and I know that it is because of my brave decision that those opportunities are possible for her.” –Beth, birth mother, age 22
Why is Abba Adoption Agency the right adoption agency choice for many birthmothers?
Abba Adoption Agency has worked with many women facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to women in need. Our caring staff is able to assist you 7 days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your unplanned pregnancy and the options available to you. Abba adoption agency is well known for the love and support we give to our birth families and adoptive families. Most birth moms we have worked with, we maintain long relationships with. At Abba Adoption Agency, it is not just about making an adoption life plan, but helping you, the birth mother understand that you too are created in the image of God and he has a wonderful plan for your life. Abba Adoption Agency is here to invest in your life!
“For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”. ~ Jeremiah 29:11
When choosing an adoption agency to work with, you must feel completely comfortable with their program and staff. With Abba Adoption Agency, you will work with an adoption specialist who is available to you. The adoption coordinator will be your advocate, providing support and guidance as you decide the type of adoption life plan that is right for you.
What is the next step? How do I start the adoption process?
To learn more about the adoption process or receive more information call Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas at (501) 776-2566 or toll free at (866)721-1551, or email us today at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com. An adoption coordinator will contact you to answer any questions you may have.
Why Abba Adoption Agency
Baby adoption agency in Arkansas
Since it is important for women to make an adoption life plan with an agency in order for an adoption to be successful and for her to receive the support services and counseling she needs, it is essential to know that not all agencies are the same, nor do they all provide a full range of adoption services that meet the needs of both the birth mothers and the adoptive parents. At Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas, we know each adoption life plan is unique and we keep that in mind as we tailor our services to meet the needs of those we work with.
When you choose an adoption life plan, you choose:
The miracle of adoption…
Abba Adoption Agency
Abba Adoption Agency understands that adoptions don’t just happen during regular business hours. So, we are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week to women facing an unplanned pregnancy and to all of our birth mothers when a crisis occurs. We have heard from mothers considering adoption that when they call other agencies, they receive a voice mail, a call center or an answering machine. A women considering adoption needs to feel confident that she has an adoption specialist available to her. In the event that you reach our voicemail, your call will be returned to you within a short period of time; you won’t have to wait until the next business day, during “regular” business hours.
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas understands women faced with an unplanned pregnancy have fears and concerns when first looking into making an adoption life plan. Abba Adoption Agency has staff members that are very experienced with the adoption process. Our staff helps you navigate through the adoption process without undue pressuring which could jeopardize the safety of an adoption. We make sure all options are presented to women considering adoption. We want her decision to be one she is completely comfortable with.
Abba Adoption Agency offers ongoing counseling and continuous support throughout the adoption process and after the delivery of the baby. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas offers “life time” counseling. Once you have made an adoption life plan for your baby through Abba Adoption Agency, we are here for you for the rest of your life to counsel with you in your adoption decision. For instance, once you are older and decide to have a family, you may find you need someone to talk with. When and if that time comes, we are here for you. If a birth mother changes her mind and decides to parent her baby, we will continue to counsel with her.
When a woman chooses the miracle of adoption and decides to make an adoption life plan, she will meet with a trained and compassionate adoption coordinator face to face. The adoption coordinator and birth mother will complete and sign various forms needed to start working on her personalized adoption life plan to meet her specific needs and unique circumstances.
Abba Adoption Agency will provide birth mothers with profiles of waiting adoptive families to choose from.
Abba Adoption Agency will assist birth mothers (as needed) with the selection of a family and with the matching process.
All waiting, adoptive, Abba Adoption Agency families meet Arkansas state home study requirements and Abba Adoption Agency application requirements prior to adopting. Birth mothers can rest assured that a safe, warm, secure and loving Christian home will be provided for their baby. Abba Adoption Agency is extremely selective in the adoptive families we work with. As a matter of fact, Abba Adoption Agency does not approve every family that submits an application nor do they work with every family that has an approved home study. All adoptive parents must meet Abba Adoption Agency’s guidelines.
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will counsel and refer birth mothers to vocation and career guidance options if they desire.
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas provides as-needed transportation to doctor’s appointments, counseling appointments, food and clothes shopping, SNAP, TEA and Medicaid appointments, assistance with moving, and any other pregnancy related issues.
Abba Adoption Agency’s adoptive families provide financial assistance with medical coverage and living expenses (within state laws of Arkansas). Examples of pregnancy related expenses are rent, utilities, copays on medical insurance, food, and clothing.
Abba Adoption Agency’s services are always personal, tailored to your specific and unique situation and confidential.
We will assist birth mothers in finding other support services in their area to help them through the adoption planning time and to support them after the adoption.
Abba Adoption Agency will organize and support the birth mother and the adoptive parents during conference calls, meetings with each other, doctor’s visits, hospital time, and all other types of contact with each other.
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas serves as a liaison between the adoptive parents, birth mothers, doctors, counselors, family members (if desired), and help with any other support and communication needed throughout the adoption process.
Referrals to counseling or a counselor of your choice is paid by the adoptive parents. Adoptive parents can pay for 4-6 counseling sessions.
Abba Adoption Agency also has a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) on staff that will be happy to meet with you (if you request) to provide additional counseling.
Abba Adoption Agency has an attorney on staff to take care of all the legal issues concerning your adoption life plan. You may also find an attorney of your choice to advise you.
Abba Adoption Agency is here to serve you! We know this is a difficult time and a hard choice for you. You are being a wonderful blessing to a couple and to your baby. We want you to have the services, support and help you need so that your adoption life plan can be a joyful and pleasurable experience for you, too.
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas has a lot of support to offer you and your baby.
Adoption is the most selfless act you can do for your baby. Adoption provides a way for the baby to have a secure future, and it allows you to fulfill the plans you have for your own life.
Contact Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas by phone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Meet with an experienced and compassionate adoption coordinator.
Complete and sign adoption forms.
Choose or assist in choosing the adoptive parents for your baby from waiting families’ profiles.
Start your adoption life plan.
Matching process from selected families.
Begin pre-natal care if not already started.
Schedule any needed services like Medicaid, counseling, food stamps, bills to be paid, and any other pregnancy related help needed allowed within the state laws of Arkansas.
Birth mother meets or has a conference call with the adoptive parents, if she would like to.
Pre-register at the hospital where the baby will be delivered.
On-going contact if the birth mother desires. Birth mother decides the comfort level of the relationship.
Put together a birth plan for you and the adoptive parents.
Adoption coordinator will continue to assist birth mother with pregnancy related issues.
Call when you are in labor and your adoption coordinator will assist you in getting to the hospital.
Adoption coordinator will call the adoptive parents to inform them of your condition.
Adoption coordinator will be at the hospital to assist both the birth mother and adoptive parents in the birth plan. If the birth mother chooses, she may visit with the baby, a counselor, adoptive parents, and whomever she desires contact with. If it is your wish to not have contact with anyone, your adoption coordinator will support your decision and help maintain those requests. The goal is to make the birth as easy for you as possible and to make sure your wishes are carried through. Remember, this is your adoption life plan!
Adoption coordinator completes and assembles all medical and legal paperwork needed to complete your adoption.
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas wants you to know that we are here for you during this decision making process. If you need some personal counseling please contact us now at (501) 776-2566 or toll free at (866)-721-1551. We will be happy to meet with you.
Post Adoption Support
Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas understands that the adoption process goes beyond when your adoption is finalized. In-fact, adoption is a beautiful picture of our relationship with Christ! Ephesians 1:4 states “Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes.” What glorious words those are! He chose us! And our relationship doesn’t end there, it is lifelong! The scriptures tell us in Romans 8:35-39 “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the scriptures say, “For Your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”). No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord”.
Just as our relationship with Christ is lifelong, so is the journey of adoption. You may find times where you are in need of support. Abba Adoption Agency begins this process by providing post-placement services. Abba Adoption Agency is committed to supporting each person in the adoption triad. No matter if you are the adoptive parents, birth family, or the adoptee, we are here to walk with you each step you take on your adoption journey.
How do I arrange for future contact with my baby if I want it?
If you decide on a confidential adoption, you may still wish to make sure that your baby can contact you in the future. There are things you can do now to make that happen.
Many people who are adopted as children later want to meet their birth parents. Many states, and some private national organizations, have set up adoption registries to help people find one another.
A registry works like this: you leave the information about the birth of the baby and your address and telephone number with the registry. You must be sure to keep your address and telephone number current. You can register at any time, even years after the baby is born.
When your baby is an adult, he or she can call or write this registry. If what the child knows about his or her birth matches what the registry has, the registry will release your current address and telephone number to the child, and you could be contacted.
There is another way to ensure that your baby can contact you if he or she wishes. Abba Adoption Agency in Arkansas will hold a letter in our file in which you say why you chose an adoption life plan and how to get in touch with you if the child ever wants to. As long as you keep Abba Adoption Agency up to date with your most recent information, we will be able to contact you when the need arises.